My Open Journal
Dream Girl Daily
Dear Dream Girl,
this is where is where i show up as my messy, soft, real self - no edits, no filters. a place where the masks come off, where i write what's actually on my heart. this is for the parts of us that still ache, still hope, still want to be seen. xoxo Nomi Rue.
The Raw Pages
if i told the whole truth about what it feels like to be me - who would still love me? if i did that i dont know where all my people would go. they would go away, they'd leave me for dead. i would probable be more lonely than i already feel sometimes. but i think i would be content, no more hiding the real me, the soft version, the one that doesnt need to play pretend. the girl that i now want to fully blossom into. the whole truth that would hurt them is - im not hard, not hard to love, not hard to understand. they'll think that i've been hiding my entire life, they'll leave because they think im a liar. truth is, im not - nobody was ever willing to fully listen and get to know the real me. i felt trapped and so i morphed into a entirely different side of me, the fake side that everybody adores, the side that i dont even know. a lifeless fake soul inside my body that i cant get rid of.
my current passion is my brand - Dream Girl Daily. i think this - no - i know this my current passion because for the past week or so i have been pouring my heart and soul in to turn this into something useful for others. im writing from my heart and im hoping that while i heal myself, another dream girl, can come onto my page, this site and find the real raw and uncut or to my other socials where i still pour my heart out, still tell my truth but with a more soft version. This is my passion because for majority of my life i have been silenced. i have been told my feelings arent valid, that i shouldnt feel how i feel or that im too much. if i want to be the best version of myself then none of that matters. Dream Girl Daily is my home, my digital home. it feels safe here whether im just writing nonsense or telling my truth. since i was a little girl my dream was to own a business, not work a 9-5. i never ended up owning anything but i think its because i was looking at the wrong things, the wrong businesses but here we landed with something far more meaningful. some days are hard because i feel like no one is relating or feeling connected, but that's okay, im starting from scratch and its real work. time is all i can give it. i love my brand, i love doing this - for myself and others.
this letter is for the part of me still longing. im not sure what exactly she's waiting for but i know she is waiting patiently. maybe its love - the type that keeps her up at night waiting for the next i love, the next " be ready ". she's not sadly waiting, she's happy that its finally here. she's longing for the ache and pain to stop, not physically but mentally. she's mentally in a place she does not want to be, so hopeless ( sometimes ) craving for more stable emotions. she is happy though. not depressed like the smaller version of her used to be. i wont say she's fully content with her current state of happiness but she is definetly better. she wants a reply to all the good stuff she's done, to be fully accepted for her. this new version of her that she forever craved for, no more being thrown into this box that she feels she cant escape. she longs for real attention, attention to her words, her pain, her suffering, her actions, her feelings. just the good attention, from someone who genuinly cares for her. she longs for that relationship with her parents that she feels she doesnt really have - not by choice of course. this strong version of her came from a weak version, the one that couldn't stand up for herself, craved validation, the bad attention. these are all the things that a part of me, the weak in me - is still waiting for. im strong now and being patient but i still have my weak spots and im waiting for those to be healed - where i can finally rip off those bandages.